sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
