I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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