You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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