everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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