all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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