my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
