god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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