sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
