You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
