Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
