We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
