I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
