try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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