I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I have aggressive nipples.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
