So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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