the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
