Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
