I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
