Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
