Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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