He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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