i just google imaged poop.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
