Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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