I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
