we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
