So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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