He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize