she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize