I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
