I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
