I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
