in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
