i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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