K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
