Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It's not a walk of shame if you run
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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