So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
