yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
