im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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