whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
As shirtless as possible
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
