Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
