writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
