We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
