genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
