He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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