she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
