So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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