Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
