there was a trapeze. enough said
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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