pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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