That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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