The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
