I can't watch pbs sober anymore
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
