i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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