I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
