..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
