ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
