Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
