you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
