i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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