Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
