just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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