just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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