yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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