The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
COCAINE IS GR8
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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