My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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