We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
