We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
