dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
