you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
